So long, farewell...

August 24, 2011 marks the one year anniversary of This Girl Ish. At 25 years young, one year does not seem like a very significant length of time. It seems as I get old time goes by faster. So,although one year comes and goes at an ever increasing pace when I really look back it feels like a lifetime ago. As well, the job I do everyday, caring for children under the age of 2 tells me that a year is in face significant. A sperm and an egg can become a human being in less than a year. A crying, helpless newborn baby can become a walking, talking toddler in a year. And an anxious, heartbroken, unsure 24-year old can become a less anxious, hopeful and ready for love 25-year old in just one year.   


The girl who started this blog is not sitting here writing this blog today. I would venture a guess that I have grown more in this past year than any other. Seasons of struggle often bring about growth if one chooses to pursue that path. I started this blog as an outlet for my broken heart. Usually my mind runs faster than I can catch it but writing has always helped. In the wake of an incredibly hard break-up my mind was definitely barreling on a full speed with negative thoughts I couldn't catch hold of. However, writing allowed me to make sense of the thoughts that invaded my mind and turned those negative thoughts into positive ones. Writing is how I process information and how I learn. So, what have I learned in the past year?Many things but here are some tidbits...


People come and go. No,this is not a shocking revelation but its one thats taken me some time to come to terms with. Not everyone you want to stay in your life does. People that you didn't think would stick around do. And sometimes you get lucky and the people you hope will never leave end up staying on. I have said hello and goodbye to a lot of people in the past year, more so than any other time in my life. All the hello's were welcomed and an answered prayer. Some good-byes were my choice and others were not and while it never feels great to say good-bye to someone you once cared about, its inevitable. I've learned that its okay to say good-bye, and while recovering from some good-byes takes longer than others, you always recover. People move in and out of your life and that is o.k and often very necessary. I'm grateful for the people who have stuck it out with me, time and time again. 


You will love again. Once again, not a shocking revelation but one that was certainly revealed to me in a powerful way. In the midst of a broken heart, falling in love again seems impossible and a really far away place. But love, and attraction has certainly taken me by surprise this year (and continues too). And that's all that needs to be said about that.


Thought's become things. More and more it is becoming evident that what I meditate on ends up appearing in my life. It's called the law of attraction and I'm not going to go into detail on how it works but it certainly does. I can look into my past and know exactly why it unfolded the way it did or how I attracted many unwanted things into my life. I'm learning everyday to take better control of my thoughts from simple things such as thinking positively about a situation I would otherwise be anxious about to more complex things like knowing that I can achieve my heart's desire if I focus the right energy there. So with that said, I leave you with a recent Note from the Universe that I am trying to theme my 25th year upon... 

"To what extremes would you go, Ashley, to bring about your heart's fondest wishes, to manifest your greatest desires, and to live your boldest dreams? OMG - did you just say visualize daily and take baby steps!?! Speechless, The Universe..."

I am sincerely grateful to everyone who has ever taken the time to read this blog. It's has proven to be a great snapshot of what has proven to be a very powerful year in my life. I'm thrilled to know that even one post has reached one person at one time and while it's bittersweet, I bid adieu to This Girl Ish. 

I dedicate this blog to these three ladies, with whom I am embarking on a new  and exciting project with. I hope everyone will keep their eyes peeled for our new blog which will hopefully hit your computer sooner rather than later. 

juxt, miss jay, the sass and ish. you ladies keep me sane.

"Look out world, Ashley's eyes just closed... and everything is about to change."


Sincerely yours,
*ISH

A Plea to Pet Lovers All Around

If you're a follower of my blog, you may remember a post I once did on pets, and my pet in particular, Cliff. If you haven't read it, I suggest you go Here. He's really cute and one of the sweetest cats I have ever known.

Unfortunately, Cliff hasn't been very well lately. About 2 weeks ago we took a trip to the vets because he was unable to keep food down, and vomiting up anything he ate. The vet had two theories and due to my lack of funds we had to "assume" it was a stomach upset due to a change in diet and follow a treatment plan according to that. The vet told me to monitor him for 24 hours, make sure he was eating, urinating and not vomiting. I did as I was told and Cliff pulled through meeting all the necessary requirements. He was doing well and steadily improving. However, this past week, he has begun to vomit again and it seems that he losing weight.

The easy solution would be, of course, to return to my vet. However, my funds are quite low. In fact between my regular bills, a commitment I have already made to buy a new used car and losing my third roommate this past month, I am pretty tapped out. I cannot even afford another consultation with my veterination, not to mention the necessary tests that will be recommended.

That's why I'm writng. I'm at a loss and I need help. If anyone knows what to do in this situation, please help! If anyone has connections to hook me up with, please help! If anyone is sitting on extra money, please help!

I am open to any suggestion, which you can comment or message me privately. Let's help my sweet kitty.

Thanks for reading

*ish



Grab somebody sexy...

I suppose I should start this post by stating that the following has been written all in good fun. Keep that in mind as you read this and weep... with tears of laughter... hopefully.


As many of you may know I have some really attractive single friends. In fact, there are three of us and we like to call ourselves... The Wolfpack. 

Let's start with the youngest, and the spunkiest of the group. May I introduce you to, Miss Alex Jay. 

Alex is a 23-year-old hairdresser who enjoys dancing, laughing, long walks on the beach and the occasional butt grab when she's had a bit too much. Even when she's the DD Alex can be found giving it her all on the dance floor and making every boy in sight wish they could tap that. If you are 21+, into sports, have a sense of humor, are a bit of a baby-face and know how to style your hair, Alex may be the lady for you!

The next lady on deck, is a bit sassy, a bit sloppy but mostly a SERIOUSLY fun lady... May I introduce, Sassy Sara

Sara is the lovely bronzed brunette.

Sara needs a man who's gonna treat her right. She needs a man who is a bit thick-skinned, for this little lady doesn't hold back. She also would really like a man with a tan. Preferably one who would enjoy tanning with her. Besides tanning, Sara enjoys playing with her puppy, frolicking by the lake, dancing her ass off and tanning some more. If you are a tanned man seeking a sassy lady, here she is. Men who wear jewellery need not apply. Men with tattoos are much more than welcome. 

And last, but not least would be, of course, yours truly... This girl Ish.

Coming in at 5'2 and 110 pounds this girl has a passion for fashion, and a passion for men who also like fashion. I'm mostly into buying things that are striped but sometimes I break the mould. I like laughing, writing and dancing until I can no longer stand up! I have an incredible weakness for the scruff on a mans chin. Once called a "magician of accents" I have a special hidden talent for accent imitation. Usually into funny dudes or those with quirks, if you don't mind being bossed around once in awhile, I'M YOUR LADY!  

Just your average dance party with the wolfpack

GUYS!! This could be you, about to get your ass grabbed by Miss. Jay

We know how to party. Thats all.

For a good time with any of these ladies, apply HERE

In the meantime, think of us while you dance to THIS

*ISH

Something to talk about...

I am the worst blogger in the world...

My only excuse is that I don't have my own computer and I don't have the internet. HELP ME, I'M POOR!

I don't really even have anything to blog about but I did want people to remember that I still have a blog and to know that I have NOT abandoned it. I have a couple posts in the works.

Today all I want to say is that lately I have felt really good. I have this tingling feeling of being on the verge of something new. I am not quite sure what but I can already feel that things are in motion. 

I think that I am starting to feel comfortable in my own body and with who I am. Due to that, I feel like I am surrounded by some amazing people who really appreciate me for me. It feels really good and I'm pretty happy to be me!

Stay tuned for a more substantial post. 

Also, I love dancing. 

I'm Not Your Toy

                He’s Just Not That Into You.

I am quite sure we're all familiar with these words, and although they may not be words every girl wants to hear, it could be the harsh reality of the situation.  In fact, as everyone may know, there is a book dedicated solely to this notion by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. I realize that I am pretty late in the game in writing about this book but until recently there was only one chapter in the book that I had read and been interested in. Having spent my entire late teens and early twenties involved in a serious relationship I didn’t think that anything in the book would apply to me. As usual I was wrong. Upon browsing at Urban Outfitters one day I opened the book and saw a chapter titled:

“He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Marrying You”

I was 22 and 6 years into a relationship with someone who was barely able to even give me a slight nod in the general marriage direction at that point. This chapter terrified me but I knew that I had to read it. So I did, and looking back I think it was something that actually set our whole break-up in motion in my head. I think that there was a part of me that knew, standing there in Urban Outfitters that he and I would never get married. It was not something I wanted to face at that point and it wouldn’t be something I was even okay with or thankful for a long time after.

At this point, I know I can do better than the boy who wouldn't marry me, even if it was once a bitter pill to swallow. This gives me hope. So, knowing the solid advice the book had given me in the past I turned to it again. This time I was seeking advice on a subject that seems to keep rearing its ugly head in my “single and ready to mingle” life.

To Pursue or Not To Pursue.

The very first chapter in the book is titled: “He’s Just Not That Into You if He’s Not Asking You Out”. Seems simple, right? The logic is that a guy will go after something he wants and therefore a girl should not even bother asking because if he ain’t askin’, he ain’t interested. I get this, and yet, the little feminist in me wants to challenge. Besides, don’t men get shy? Or scared of rejection? Or busy? Or even just awkward? I really want to believe that in 2011 it is okay for a woman to ask out a man and believe that some love stories begin with this and end with a happily ever after. In fact, since I have been present in the dating arena more people have told me to be bold, to go after a guy I’m interested in, to make the first move and so on. Has it worked for me? Yes and no. Often it works temporarily but clearly it hasn’t moved me towards a happy ending. Yet... 

Alas, I’m not satisfied with this. As a woman I hate to think that the best I can do is sit pretty and hope that the next guy I’m interested in is interested back. Even though I would love to be pursued and courted by a man I like, I actually long for more control that that. Its just who I am. So, I did some research, some asking around and looked back on my experiences and here are my conclusions.

 I think the answer to all these questions is YES. Some men are shy. Some men are scared of rejection. Some men do get “busy” or are unavailable for reasons that have nothing to do with you. And, yes! Some men are just plain awkward. Its quite possible that all these kinds of men will still ask a girl out if he is really interested. But, maybe not. What I do like about this book is that it pushes woman to do better. If a man isn't asking you out then maybe, just maybe there is someone better out there who will. I still also think that woman CAN ask men out. Sometimes it works, and if you’re the type of woman who is bold enough, don’t change who you are for another person. Maybe you’re meant to be with a man who needs you to make at least the first move before he feels comfortable enough to take the reins. Besides, who wants a man who isn't comfortable with a woman taking the lead and making the first move?

With all this said, I do know that dating can be VERY discouraging and sometimes we want to settle for less. I'm sure all single people know this. I, for one, do not come in contact with men that I am attracted to that often so when I do, I instantly attach meaning to it and I know many other woman who do the same. Even though I sometimes feel otherwise, I know I won’t settle. I would rather be single than be with someone who isn’t that into me or someone who I’m not that into.

The book definitely points out some red flags in dating as well. At the end of the day I know I can do better than a man who is:

• breaking up with me.
• cheating on me.
• married!

• not committing to a serious relationship but intent on reaping the benefits of a serious relationship.

As my wise sister pointed out, a lot of the things in this book are just "guidelines" or "ideas" and really, all they are there for is to try and ease some of the many insecurities that swarm around the dating game. Moreover, the feminist in me wants to mention, that woman should first and foremost ask themselves, How into him am I? Maybe that's really the starting point. If I start there and finish with remembering NOT to settle, I think I can somehow figure out how to play this game a little better. And so can you. I don't know if I've settled on an answer for my initial question of whether or not I should pursue a man but I'm still learning.

Let this song be your guide. 

*Ish

Is This Love

It seems to me that I am always apologizing for my lack of posting these days. I feel as if I can make no excuses for it and just say that I promise to post more and I have a few topics that have been swirling my brain for awhile now. 

With all that said, this post is yet another vacation update. Last week I was lucky enough to go away yet agin and this time to the lovely Varadero, Cuba. I realize how lucky I am to have had two vacations within such a short time of one another. I'm holding onto to this fact and am positive it is partly why I am holding on to my sanity during this dragged out winter we seem to be having. 

This trip was one of the best weeks of my life. I went with two amazing ladies who I was sad to leave at the end of the week, experienced the most beautiful beach I have ever seen, drank, danced, met fun people and tried my best to make the most of every second. I'm walking away from this vacation with great memories and the reminder that yes, it is ok to stop and take a minute to relax in this crazy world. 

Here are some of my memories...

White powder sand. It doesn't get any better







Yes I'm pale but look how beauty the ocean and sky is.



If I could watch the sun set from the beach every night, I don't  think I'd ever complain again

We went on a Jeep Safari and I was really excited!

This is a cave that we swam in. NBD

My special friend Lizard after snorkeling

We left the maid presents everyday and she did sweet things with our towels. This was my fav!

We met an awesome group of guys from where else... Oakville! I had the brilliant idea to put lipstick on them one night and they all obliged... some more willingly than others.

Without a doubt, my favourite photo from the trip.

The theme song of our trip. A go-to sing along song.

A final frolick in the ocean with Lizard

A final dance on the beach at dusk.

Batman & I before dancing at The Cave

My lovely travel buddies. They're on my favourite list.

Until next time my friends, lets hope spring decides to show its face soon. I promise a real written post within the next week.

*Ish

It's oh so quiet...

I have a confession to make.

I am an introvert.

That feels tremendous to say. Sometimes I like to call myself a secret introvert because while I'm sure the majority of people who know me would call me an introvert I know some are puzzled by it. By this I mean, some people meet me and their first impression is that I'm shy, quiet and slightly awkward. However, I then turn to someone I know and feel comfortable with and I'm loud, animated, funny and possibly bordering on obnoxious at times. As well, I admit that I feel quite intimidated at one-on-one conversations with people I don't know but I am very comfortable speaking in large groups.

Another layer to the "secretness" of my introversion is that I used to feel somewhat ashamed to own up to this facet of my personality. So many positive adjectives are associated with people who ae extroverts. Extroverts are:
*outgoing
*sociable
*talkative
*warm
*funny
*life of the party

Introverts are often thought of as
*shy
*quiet
*boring
*dull
*anti-social
*snobby

For a long time I did not want to admit that I am more introverted than extroverted because I did not, and still do not want to associate myself with any of the above words. I also tend to pursue friends and be attracted to men who are more on the extroverted side and have spent a good portion of my life trying to be like those people.

As I navigate my way through my early twenties and into my mid twenties I realize that it is okay to love this part of myself and let it shine through. There are many great qualities to being introverted, and being able to write this blog is one of them. I also realize that being more introverted can be handy at work. When I can translate my quietness into a serene and calm vibe, I have learned that the babies really dig it.

Yes, I have difficulty carrying on a conversation with strangers or people I'm not completely comfortable with. Yes, I often find it hard to put my thoughts into words that I can speak to people, especially when I am emotional. Yes, I need time to myself without social interaction. But...

I also like being around people very much and I know that relationships are what keep me grounded. I may be quiet upon a first meeting with someone but it is because I also like to observe people and contemplate ideas to interact with them. I'm thankful to all the people who have looked past my quietness and put in the extra time it takes to get to know me. Moreover, I get along fantastically with humourous people because I make a great audience! I have had more than a few friends and family members tell me they enjoy having me around because I'll laugh at their joke even when no one else does. I still know how to have fun and I'm working hard to make sure I don't use "being an introvert" as an excuse not to meet new people, be compassionate and challenge myself in sometimes uncomfortable situations.

There you have it. The quiet girl speaks up. Think of this the next time you're interacting with someone who is a little on the shy or quiet side. Discovering the way my Maker made me and embracing what I find is just another one of those hurdles to get through.

Here's a song that I picked not because it has anything to do with being introverted but with judging people before you get to know them. J Biebz rocks, and before you hate, go see his movie, I guarantee you'll be suprised.

*Ish